Treadmill Run

Treadmill runs are mentally tough.  The impulse is to check your time, check your mileage, check your speed over and over and over for however many miles or minutes you can handle it. 

Today I had to run 6 miles on the DREADMILL.  I would have rather gone out in the cold and wind but I was worried about my foot creating too much pain for me to be out 3 miles and done.  Then what, I hope for a magical sleigh to pick me up; chances are my chances of that happening aren’t that great.

Dawn, what a great sport she is, ran inside with me and we chatted for the first 2 miles then we both upped the speed a little and quietly tried to find our bliss.  I caught mine alright up until mile 5 when my foot pain started creating knee pain. 

I finished out my 6 miles with a growth to my running.  I left with my head up high, a limp in my proud step knowing I am a runner.

Worst Day of the Week, Sunday

Sundays are the hardest day of the week for me.  You would think staying home all day with no agenda other than laundry, dishes, spending quality time with the family, changing sheets, and all other mother/wife things would make me feel complete but they don’t. 

Without physical activity I feel irritated and sulky and annoyed and disgruntled.  This is wrong so I feel like a bad parent and wife on top of it all and that makes GUILT!!!  I do most of those things most days of the week but with those things I get to workout and socialize and decompress.  Every other day of the week I have a schedule and the children and Jimmy know the schedule.  I don’t like being ho hum.  I’ve tried to make a Sunday agenda but it never seems to work, something always disrupts it or my time table gets off so I get even more bitchy. 

To add to my annoyance I am a little sore and the kids have spent a little too much time together so it all boils down to I don’t enjoy Sundays.  I really feel awful about saying this, more guilt, but as I sit here while my children fight over a puzzle piece I want to explode!  I do love them all, I have so many, but not on Sundays. 

I’m really just biding my time until 8 pm, bedtime for some!!!  Then till 9:30 pm, bedtime for the rest!!!

Lord help me, Monday can’t come soon enough!

Smart Running…Accomplished!

As I ran in from my 4.38 mile group run this morning I was extremely proud of myself.  I pushed my lungs but not my legs.  It always amazes me at how quickly the body loses its fitness level, especially cardiovascular health. 

My goal was to turn around at the water station and I did, my goal was to slow down if I felt I needed to and I did. 

I completed my run in 39:38.  I finished sore but not in pain. 

On a different topic; competitiveness

I have a problem with wanting to always compete.  I do not like to be in the back of the pack anymore.  My entire life, up until a year ago when I lost all this weight, I was totally fine with being on the sidelines or last or just finishing.  Now every time I go out I want to do the absolute best I can do.

For me it is not about my last workout it is about the workout NOW.  It is about today.  If I don’t workout today then I don’t feel like an aspiring athlete.  If I go out mentally easy then I feel like I’ve lost my mental edge. 

Today when I went out I started out harder than I usually do because I’m tired of going out easy and feeling like I have make up my speed to lower my average pace.  I’m always thinking “what do I want my average pace to be”  If I want my average to be 9 min mile or under than I know I have to go out at no slower than a 9:15 because I don’t want to have to spend the last 1/2 of my workout going faster than I can handle to make up for a slow start.  I know starting slower is important but I think I have, in the past, taken that a little too literally.  Now I feel like I’m sprinting off the block. 

So anyway, today I was told, “hey, yo, Mel, this isn’t a race”.  In my mind it always feels like a race. 

The clinic before the run today was on Mental Toughness, I’m thinking, I’ve got that but I don’t know if my body has as much as my mind.  I’ve got so much to learn with my aspirations to become a long distance runner.  I guess that’s life, always a learning process.

Smart Running

Met with the Doc yesterday re: my foot. I was informed that it is a strained muscle that goes from the outside of the foot up the calf. She has seen a few of these issues recently and it is due to the running on the slush and snow and having weak ankles.
I was given a few exercises to strengthen these muscles and told to ice and ibuprofen for inflammation. I was also released for SMART running.
Smart running, WHAT??? I can comprehend what this is right now, when I'm not running but I cannot guarantee anything once my feel start hitting the pavement. I need a mother out there running with me.
Smart running goal for today; water jogging and ankle/stability exercises and core strengthening. Smart running goal for tomorrow IE long run day; run only 5 miles!!!

Run Camp Meeting

Kalamazoo Marathon, Borgess 1/2 Marathon & 5K meeting last night. A few of us Y...Runners made it there to get even more excited about running this race and to get packet info. What an amazing group here in Kalamazoo ready to lead Michigan in health and fitness. I am so excited to be a part of it.

I will add, we were probably the only sub group that went for drinks after the meeting.

What a great night!

Learning More By Running Less

I'm assuming and I've been told, by non medical professionals, that chances are I have plantar fasciitis. I need to stay off my foot and ice and stretch and ice and ice and ice and wait even after it doesn't hurt to start running again. I hate icing, I hate waiting, I hate staying off; it makes me feel like one of those runners who doesn't run but always complains of the infamous shin splints.
I am not going to let this get me down mentally or physically. I am going to substitute my running with water jogging. I am going to continue lifting my upper body and core conditioning. I am not going to worry about whether I will be able to run 11 miles when I first start back up, I am going to go out slower and shorter distance. I am going to learn about pace, mental and physically.
Learning about why I tend to push myself so hard in some areas and not others is going to be a priority. 2 weeks, I can do this. It's only 2 weeks if I behave myself, hopefully. I can't promise how I'll act after that!

Out Again….

I’m finally feeling healthy but, of course, my life can’t just stay there.  My foot is, is pain.  Along the right side of my right foot is pain, not shooting up my leg pain or radiating to my toes pain but right there pain.

I hopped into the Y today to swim and lift my upper body looking completely ridiculous.  Someone told me to massage it out, someone told me to ice it; regardless of what I do I can’t run today or tomorrow or probably even the next day. 

So what can I do other than feel sorry for myself?  I can bike, swim, water jog, lift; I guess I’ve got plenty I can do. 

Tues and Thurs as a family we go to the Y at night, tonight I’m going to spinning class.  On the hunt to locate my bliss!

Sprinted It…

I feel like I can run forever, or at least 11.62 miles, outside but inside is a different level of toughness.  The treadmill is hard for me to run long on.  I try to lose myself in my music or talking with my running friends or just looking around at all the people in the gym but seriously, 4 miles is my limit. 

Due to that I try and split up the longer runs if I have to run them inside. Yesterday we were to run 6 miles but it was 4 degrees outside and I wasn’t interested in braving the cold again nor was my running partner, Dawn.  It was decided we would run sprints instead.  I pulled out an old sprint workout that we had done in the early early, pre-marathon training running.  In the beginning, back in October, we couldn’t complete this workout without having our recovery jog become a recovery walk and the 10 min cool down jog was a 5 min cool down walk.  We jogged we RAN we jogged we RAN we jogged we RAN….X 6. 

I think Dawn and I both needed an inspiring run and I think that was it, at least it was for me. 

However, because of the effort or wrong foot placement I think I may have pulled a muscle in my right foot.  It is great pain to put any pressure on it.  Today I must cross train.  It does seem like it is one thing after another.  Taking it in stride!

My Heaven

Each Saturday morning the alarm is set for 5:30 am.  Each Saturday morning I slip into consciousness with the knowledge that it is colder outside than in my warm bed.  Each Saturday morning I let uncertainty easy over my mind.  Each Saturday morning, that I am healthy, I get up anyway and put one foot on the floor, then the other and make a decision to run.

It is always an effort to make my mind do what my body doesn’t really want to do, at least at that moment.  I have to make my mind think, not of the run ahead of me, but the accomplishment and amazement I feel AFTER my run.  It is a mental game I play.

Once I park my car and walk into wherever the Borgess Running group is meeting I lose the doubt I had been carrying.  Once I open the door to facility we are meeting in I gain a little confidence.  Once I mingle with all of these beautiful runners I lose all “me”.  Once I begin running as a group I gain all “we”. 

This particular Saturday I was filled with even more doubt than usual due to my having not run any distance in weeks.  As I spoke to my coaches about how to gain the ability to run real mileage again I was reassured that running only what I could handle today was just fine.  “We are still gaining our base” they told me, “there is plenty of time” I was assured.  This particular Saturday we were to be running either 10, 11, or 12 miles.  The temperature was a balmy 7 degrees and it was lightly snowing. 

We suited up and left the building.  I had in my mind that I could do 6 miles; that means at the 3 mile mark I turn around.  I had it set that I would turn around regardless of how I felt because I didn’t want to over stress my body on my first run back but I wanted to make sure I was getting my legs and lungs back into the swing of what they had been missing.

By mile 2 I was in it.  By mile 3 I was in heaven.  I didn’t notice the cold or the slush.  I only felt my lungs, inhale step step exhale step step inhale step step exhale step step; the rhythm was peaceful and beautiful.  At that very time I believed in heaven, I believed that if heaven was individualized that my heaven would be filled with marathon runners in constant training and we would always feel this at one with ourselves. 

I ran 11.62 miles in 1:51:24, that equates to a 9:35 min mile. 

More Than Just Running

Running a marathon is so much more than just running.  Nutrition, time management, stretching, strength/core training; all of those things have to come into the equation. 

When I get up in the morning I have to do my “internet” thing and my study thing; that should be from 4-6 am.  By 6 I should be done with all that and begin my workout plan for the day; do I just run and stretch today or am I adding strength in there, where do I fit in the swimming I need to keep up with and lord help me, I don’t want to miss my
SBBC circuit training class at least 1 day a week.

After those things are completed my “mom” business starts.  Get or make sure the older kids are up and moving for school, get all food ready for myself and the little boys for before and after the Y.  The hardest for me of all my morning day is getting the little boys fed and dress and shoed.  Getting them into the van is painful, absolutely painful! 

I’m going to leave my running off of here because that is my main workout but at the Y it is all that I planned with the hopes of running into friends and chatting.  I love the Y and all of its people.

My “after” work is just life; kids, school, groceries, husband, dinner, the life stuff.  That part of my life seems to bring one extra unexpected event after another.  I would love to know what shhhhh….quiet……shhhhhh feels like.

Now, I’m running behind, it’s 6:06.

Reclaimed My BLISS!

I cannot even believe what a day today was;

I will start by saying things do not always go as I think they will, go figure.  I didn’t know if I’d even make it in to the Y today due to Walter’s pooping issues so I forced myself to be OK with that and hoped I’d make it at night with the family.  I had a plan of my morning, grocery shopping, lawyer appointment for my mom then go home and start making dinner.  Instead of that, Walter woke up and was as fine as can be so we got ready and were off to the Y.  I figured if he started pooping again they would just call me up but at least I’d get my ass out and give it an effort.  I also had in my head I would give another effort of the 2 miles running; I was hoping without stopping today.  I went passed where my SBBC class was and I was coaxed into it.  Oh, am I happy I was! 

Kraig, the instructor of SBBC, has us do, on occasion, track work; that means inchworm, lunges, bear crawl, kangaroo hops, long jumps and any other sort of thing he has dreampt up.  He always says he wants us to do 3 times around for each but we never have enough time.  Today that all changed for me.  I made it through each thing 3 times.  I left “tears of progress” up and down and all around that track.  On my backward lunges I held onto a 14lb medicine ball and on the last set he did some of the work with me, pushing me to go faster and faster.  I loved every single minute of it!!!

Lord help me if I didn’t just find all I had been missing over the last 2 weeks in the 1 hour long class.  My confidence was restored, my body felt strong, and my BLISS was found!

Tonight, we went to the Y as a family and I made it through my 2 miles of running.  I did stop and walk a few times because I had stomach cramps from what I ate before I came here but I ran it and my legs felt great and so did my lungs. 

I’M BACK BABY, I’M BACK AND READY TO ROCK IT!!!

Hopeful

I woke today unsure of my day plan.  It has been for the past year unquestioned, I go to the Y but today I didn’t feel so sure.  I took time to consider how much effort it takes to get everything ready to get there and hesitated…..

I am hesitant no longer, I am awake and it is not Sunday so I go to the Y. 

I am going under the assumption that something will sideline me but I’m hopeful that I will be able to see past, see there I go again looking forward to looking toward the bigger picture, the minutia. 

I have a plan of attack so I must leave my warm chair and attack!

Life Has A Way…

Life has a way, sometimes, of getting in my way.  I am learning to “roll with it”, as I tell my husband all the time, but it is so tough.  Life is always throwing me a curve ball to see if I can dodge it.  The very minute I turn my head I get slammed and reminded to keep my head and eyes forward. 

The hits I take are typically based upon my own laziness.  I have such tunnel vision that I lose sight of important details.  I’m always trying to see the BIG picture but by doing that I don’t bother to look at the minutia of the day to day. 

The things I think are important other’s don’t seem to understand and visa versa.  It’s the little things, I really need to figure out how to pay attention to the little things. 

Today, again, I am home.  Life got in my way.  As with my norm I’m going to disregard today, probably a bad choice, and just get through till tomorrow. 

IDIOT

While wallowing in my sickness and self pity I made a rookie mistake.  I went out for a beer, it started as simply as having a coffee at Barnes & Noble but soon gravitated toward a pizzeria. Beer for dinner is never a good idea; however, I was looking to be taken out of my funk. 

2 beers later we, Anne and I, decided to take it to the next level.  We brought the girls, Molly and her friend, home and went to a pub for a bloody mary.  That, of course, led to more beer and then pub food.  That, of course, led to me stumbling home after midnight.

All of the above errors in judgment have led to me waking with a hangover wishing I didn’t have to function today.  Isn’t that why I was pitying myself in the 1st place, feeling like shit and wallowing in self pity…

NEED EXERCISE

I am trying to be kind to my body and keep the rest flowing but I’m dying here.  I’ve been wanting to move so badly but this morning I just feel NOTHING.  That scares me more than feeling agitated.  I’m afraid of losing my mojo; I’m afraid of losing my leg power; I’m afraid of doing 5 light squats and being sore for 5 days after. 

I should research how quickly our muscle memory stays or should I really ask how quickly muscle memory fades.  I’m afraid today.

I can only handle so much of this; I’m at the end of my rope.

Bitchin Runners, Pride

So Dawn finished the Snowbuster 1/2 Marathon with a time of 2:27:00, approximately (this was not a timed race so actuality is a few minutes or so off, you know you never start at the start when they start the clock).  She said it was an out and back but…..down an unplowed dirt road with fields on either side of her.  The wind, snow and cold did not make an easy run.  What a great 1st time running that distance.

 

I’m Out!

Last night, with the knowledge that even if I am feeling a touch better running that race will just make me sick sick sicker after it’s over. 

My left ear is now plugged and starting to hurt.  I’m not sure if I should go back to the dr. More rest and basic life functioning is in my future for at least the next few days.

Dawn and Colleen took it well.  Dawn was right when she said this is not the only 1/2 in our future.  I’m sure they will do amazingly and I’ll get a text when they are finished; they’ll be ecstatic and I’ll be pissed.

Hopefully Anne, a friend that was coming along for the fun of watching and being in a hotel for a few days, will take it as well.  Maybe we can go to dinner and a movie instead.

Please, something else to write about

Nope, No such luck.  All I am is sick and all I think of is when will I not be sick!  I’m obsessed, I’m consumed with self pity about being sick.

My poor husband; he receives a call from me that I’m so sick I can’t make dinner.  I offer to do his most favorite thing, pick up dinner from a restaurant and bring it home.  Are you kidding me, nope he says and says he’ll stop at the store on his way home from work and make something when he gets home.  He gets home and I’m in bed pissed because it took him so long to get home to deal with the children, yes, I really was pissed because I had to crawl my sick ass out of bed for a minute to grab a chocolate milk for the boys.  From there he has to go pick up Clarke from school and Molly from some after school function and come home to make dinner.  He brings me dinner in bed, brings me water and juice and doesn’t complain or even look totally irritated.  He then cleans up to the best of his ability with the kids scurrying around him and puts them to bed at an appropriate time. 

Where was I you may wonder, I was asleep in bed.  I’m a mess.  I am staying home today and I’m attempting to rest, drink, rest, drink and finish cleaning the kitchen and making a meal.  The idea of all that work is giving me a headache!  I need drugs to wipe this sickness out of me!

I’m going to end up single if I don’t shape up!

OMG, Come On Already

I cannot seem to shrug off this head cold.  I also know in the long run, meaning in months from now, I won’t even know why I wasted my time stressing about this. 

The question is the same….To run or not to run.  Is it OK to run short easy inside without making my immune system more compromised. 

I’m wrapping my life around making sure I am healthy enough to run 13.1 miles outside in January in Mt. Pleasant Michigan, did I already say JANUARY in MT PLEASANT….

I’m taking it to the internet.  All questions can be answered there.

The Power of an Fitness Instructor

I ended up going to the Y to swim today.  It wasn’t a good idea.  My head and nose are so stuffy that I couldn’t breath and due to my ear being plugged I felt the need to constantly be smacking the side of my head thinking that maybe something would pop out and allow me to hear again.  Sticking my head in the water did nothing to make me feel better.

Due to that not being a workout I decided to go to SBBC, boot camp.  Our typical instructor was out and the sub we were left with was incredibly awful!  I didn’t realize how much impact the instructor had on the enjoyment of a class, take it from my experience today, it makes all the difference in the world. 

I don’t think that you need a break every time you do something 10 times; 10 squats, 30 sec break and now take a sip of water.  Are you kidding I haven’t even broken a sweat yet.  Now do a lunge with a weight on your shoulder, why, that had no impact on my lunge.  I haven’t ever walked out of a class up until today.  It was torture; the excitement level was in the toilet, the quality of the exercise was nonexistent.  It wasn’t worth my time!

Lesson to self; make each class I evidentially teach upbeat, enough work to make you “find your BLISS”, and get the participants in the class involved.  Make it FUN. 

Stil Sick, Still Unsure

This is day 6 of being officially sick. I'm still stuffed up beyond belief and my ear is still ringing and I can't hear out of it. My throat no longer hurts but my head feels fuzzy.
I'm going back to the gym anyway. I don't know if that's a good idea or not but the amount of energy I have is making me feel like I'm on speed.
Being away from exercise; who would have ever thought that this would make me feel unlike me. Make me feel CRAZY! I miss the people, the conversations, the mental solitude that can be found when I hit that "BLISS". Just when the sweat starts to bead on my head, I get a rush. It's like a drug that I've become so addicted to.
After I had Pryor, he's 3 1/2, I became in love with Vicodin. It made me not whacked but just a little numb. Exercise for me is just the opposite, I feel ALIVE! I feel a surge of pleasure as pure as an orgasm. Blood rushes from and to each extremity. I flush. It is BLISS at it's most basic level.
Lord help me, I'm in love!

Disappointed

Late last year we decided to try and get Jimmy, my husband, sponsored for triathlons. We felt we were ready as a family to make this type of commitment to his level of training and a hectic racing schedule.
Finally today was the day that they were going to announce whether he was picked or not; he was not. I am the one who filled out the application so of course there is a little wondering as to my choices on what to put on the application. I know there are other companies out there who do sponsor and that we shouldn't expect to be accepted by the first one we applied to but.....it's still disappointing.
Now I move down on the list. Who will the lucky company be...

To Run or Not To Run

I’m awake, it’s 6 am.  I’m unsure how to handle my day.  I could certainly get up and moving and make it to the gym by 9 for the 4 mile run but is that what I should be doing. 

My throat is feeling like normal.  My ear is still completely plugged but no pain.  My body feels good.  It’s really a matter of should I take 1 more day off or jump back in now. 

The trouble is…I’ll never know the right answer until either I do get sick again because my body still needed time or I’ll be completely fine and 4 days of NOTHING was enough for my body to fully recover. 

I wish I had a “moderate” key within me.  I tend to go balls out or don’t bother going at all. 

I don’t know what to do…I guess I’ll check my email and go from there.

Still Sick

I am at a loss when I am unable to exercise. I feel for the past 4 years I've had one reason after another not to exercise. Now, it is the exact opposite; I'm making up one excuse after another to exercise even though the Dr told me to take some time off and recharge my body.
I'm going crazy!!!